I Would like a Talking Puppy.

If I had a talking puppy...

I was brainstorming ideas for sketches and random thought, What if I had a talking puppy? There were talking dogs everywhere when I was little on TV and in the movies. I always thought it was a dull premise for a sitcom. My dream dog is (unsurprisingly) Batman's dog Ace. I would like a big, brilliant, loyal pooch.

Dogs are our friends. I've always felt distaste towards referring to a pet as a child because pets hold a special status in our lives. They are friends. They are in our lives because we both want to share our lives. If the dog could talk then the friendship would take on different dimensions. I would want a talking puppy because he would be a friend.

Puppies are cute. I don't want a puppy because puppies are better than adult dogs. Adult dogs have so much to offer and puppies are cute because that's the only way we'll put up with the puppy destroying everything. Also if you start with a puppy and they don't stop destroying everything then when they're adults you're kind of locked in because they're your dog for better or worse.

We could talk about everything! When I had a bad day at work, he could help me through the problem. I wouldn't have to worry about what he did all day because he'd have his own doggy door and just go off and live his life.

If I had a talking puppy then I'd know he didn't grow into adulthood around idiots and psychos (just a well-meaning weirdo). He wouldn't go around spouting racist diatribes because I'd teach him better than that. I'd expose him to the beauty of the diversity in the world. It's hard enough to change a human's mind when they grow attached to toxic ideas, I imagine changing a talking dog's mind would be even harder. But I suppose it would be rewarding to show the talking dog that the world is bigger and filled with better people than he ever knew.

With adult dogs, you don't know what lives they lived before you. You could be the best thing that ever happened to them. I'm always afraid of what the dog went through before me. Maybe it would be easier with talking dogs. I could talk it out with him or if it's really bad I could get him therapy.

A talking dog would be easier to train because I wouldn't have to. He's smart enough to talk, he's smart enough to tell me "I have to use the backyard."

If more than just my dog could talk, it would alter the fabric of society. Oh...wow...I really shouldn't think that much about sketch ideas. But I think by now, you could see why the idea of a talking puppy didn't seem that funny to me (And I overthink things.)

The shows from when I was little were usually about people who became dogs or unique people who could talk to dogs. Now, there are plenty of shows with talking dogs like Family Guy...etc (I'm not that invested into coming up with further examples).

I'm really more of a cat person but I would be sore if I had a talking cat that refused to talk to me and that's the kind of thing a cat would do. Really, cats could be able to talk and simply refuse to do so. Thats would be such a cat thing to do.