Batman Comics Reviewed - Personal Favorites - On Going List

Batman Comics Reviewed

From Best to Least Best

On-Going

1. Aliens/Batman Part 1 Part 2
2. Batman: The Abduction
3. Aliens/Batman 2

Comic Review: Batman/Aliens 2 - Bats fights Xenomorphs again, this time in Gotham

Batman/Aliens 2

Guess Who's Going to Fight Xenomorphs Again

I am quickly driven from optimism into madness by a comic.

If you like Aliens and Batman, you'll like the comic but it does have a few failings. Maybe I'm a little hard on it because I wanted the story to skew a little more Alien than it did. I enjoyed the first two parts. The third part was...problematic. Not objectively bad but bad when compared to the first two parts.

The events of the original Batman/Aliens comic, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake and Barbara Gordon as Oracle are all part of the continuity of the comic's universe. We also learn Superman is "dead" in the timeline of the comic book.

Comparison to the Batman/Aliens

I enjoyed the first slightly formulaic but ultimately satisfying Batman/Aliens. The sequel is set in Gotham and more of a Batman comic than an Aliens comic. Especially by the third part. I'm getting ahead of myself.

The art is on par with Batman/Aliens. But the character design is superior. The settings are more diverse. The entire comic is more visually creative.

The comic has more real estate to tell the story than Batman/Aliens. The Gotham setting ups the stakes of the comic book because all we had in the previous was a few mercenaries. 

Here There Be Spoilers

The comic opens with a historical setting where a hero is fighting an alien. He receives a head injury from a professor who reveres the Xenomorphs with religious fervor. The professor regards the hero as a murderer and we can gather the hero was killing the crew members who were impregnated by the Xenomorphs before the creatures could emerge. The last comic established that killing the host would kill the creature even if it was about to burst.

The professor escapes the cave. The hero fights for survival but his fate is sealed. Her sets off dynamite to kill the Xenomorph. He's our suicide by grenade guy but dynamite this time. A solid action sequence to open.

Flash forward

Gotham's got issues. A work crew opens a Pandora's box with a Xenomorph. They all die. The Pandora's box of this comic is not a downed spaceship but a mysterious door underground. It's a door to a lab left there by the obsessed scientist guy from the opening. Considering it's Gotham, parasitic aliens are a standard discovery for a creepy laboratory.  

The comic flashbacks to the last comic with Batman commenting "It was like the plot of a science-fiction film."

Bats joins Gordon at the site of the Xenomorph's dinner time. Batman leaves the crime scene without telling Gordon about the Xenomorph threat. Gordon calls him out on this later. Bats doesn't have a defense (he just batglares) because there was only one logical reason. Batman wanted to contain the threat before anyone else could discover the secret. He states this isn't his reason (meaning he didn't have a good reason to not warn Gordon).

Batman's a little slow to action dealing with the presence of the Xenomorph in the dense urban area. He takes time to read a journal. I appreciate the need for storytelling in the comic book but the pace is bogged down by this scene. Just get to work Bats!

A man with magic cellphone reception (for the time period) calls 911 to report a Xenomorph attack in the subway. Batman goes hunting.

He turns on yellow night vision and I love the uber serious lockjaw look he has when he turns on yellow eye. They turn into red eyes for reasons(?). The art switches between a yellow tone and blue tone. Consistency would have helped here. Perhaps switching between a night vision and a normal vision rather than cycling between different tones.

The artist breaks up the images to avoid repetition. He shows a silhouette with Bats, Gordon and a Swat Member including a white cut out of the bat, the white visor of the swat member's helmet. It's a small panel but very effective. On the other side, the aggravating strategically acid burned batsuit bearing his perfect abs is a little cliched and weird.

Book 2

Batman gets the impregnated people to the hospital. The doctors remove the baby Xenomorphs. The story takes a turn when Batman's worst fear comes true. The government comes to take control of the situation. The government wants the baby nightmares that the doctors just harvested from the surviving Xenomorph victims. We also learn our antagonist is a government agent named Fortune. She reveals her evil nature by questioning why the doctors are removing the Xenomorph spawn from the innocent victims.

Things go wrong in the hospital. The Xenomorph and baby alien (that can spit acid) escape.

Back in the Batcave, the caring Alfred is appropriately snarky. I cheered when Oracle made an appearance. What isn't better with the addition of a well written Oracle? Tim and Dick are established to exist in the world but Bats won't call them for Batsy reasons. Namely, he's convinced if he doesn't do this alone, they'll all die. This leads to a well done nightmare sequence.

The Xenomorphs make their way to Arkham Asylum and Batman follows. The Joker gets one of the best lines of the comic. "HEH. All of a sudden I can't think of anything funny to say." It's so apropos. After the power goes out and the cells open, Two-Face gets a gun and starts shooting the aliens.

Fortune, the crazy government black ops lady, reveals herself to be a legitimate psychopath. She's petting the Xenomorph. She's crazy, evil and superpowered enough to get a decent life expectancy in a Batman comic (at least to the end of the story). She abducts Batman to use him for an experiment.

Book 3

Fortune successfully engineered Xenomorph hybrid soldiers.

As a stand alone comic, I might have enjoyed this. I'm really angry at this point in the reading. The revelation of the Xenomorph soldiers was the moment that Aliens/Batman 2 dropped to the bottom of my list. Not to say I wouldn't enjoy the twist in a different context. It's not set up or telegraphed and I'm angry because of the third chapter we didn't get. The moment the plot veered in this direction, it veered away from an interesting plot focusing on Batman's fixation on stopping these monsters alone when he can't. Instead, the story agrees with his decision to take on the fight alone.

The Xenomorph/Arkham hybrid soldiers look like Extreme Dinosaurs. The character design is silly. They're more Impopster Funko than creepy Xenomorph hybrids. Not bad but bad in the context. They're not scary. They're cute Xenomorph versions of Batman villains. Then the revelation Crazy Fortune is an alien hybrid. Guh.

I'm shocked they didn't have a line of toys they were pimping. I'll admit the Crane one is kind of cool looking in that creepy, why does he look like a literal scarecrow? The Ivy makes sense because she's not fully human but Scarecrow just wears a mask. Why would the Joker/Alien hybrid have bright red lips? Why does Two-Face/Alien hybrid have scars on one half of the face? There's a little handwavium to explain why they are intelligent and don't rip her throat out.

Batman starts the "fuse" on the oil rig. Then he goes to investigate while the oil rig is burning. He reaches the lab of horrors where the other hybrids are in supersized test tubes. This is shocking to Bats. A little disingenuous considering he's been wading his way through viscera and acid blood for the last two books. Also because Batman intuited the hybrids were production model hybrids.

We're subjected by Fortune to a speech explaining how it's justified because Superheroes, blah, blah, blah. I prefer the "they're my babies" angle for this particular villain. We don't need a rehash of her pitch to the government to get funding.

Then Fortune gets her head ripped off by Xenomorph/Killer Croc. Bats tried to save her because he's Bats. Her character's death clock started ticking the moment she petted the Xenomorph in the last book.

Batman escapes but no one else does. Black ops helicopters bomb the rest into nothing. Batman speculates this is because the government has realized the Xenomorphs are too dangerous. They probably just didn't want to pay out for all the death benefits and it was cheaper to disavow. 

After 10 hours of Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In

Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In

After 10 hours of Laugh-In

I've been binge watching Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In for research. I've seen more episodes in the last week than I had in the rest of my life prior to this week.

The show at times includes surprisingly timely humor proving that we have many of the same problems we had 50 years ago. Occasionally, there are shocking jokes that make my eyes widen and make me ask "Did they really just say that?"

Laugh-In is not a soft show. It can quirky, strange and a nice bit of puff. It can also be shocking. Some things have become inappropriate like cultural and racial humor that is not for modern sensibilities. Other jokes were written to get a reaction. Some things have become risque like a costar planting a kiss on a surprised Goldie Hawn. All I can think of when I watch it, is did she know about it in advance? Did she agree to it? If not, it's not a joke.

I love Goldie Hawn but I love her more in other work (not Overboard, that movie is seriously messed up). She's a smart actress and the bubble-headed caricature gets a little grating. It's the infantilized version of her. The more extreme she plays the character, the more effective the parody is.

No subject was off-limits for Laugh-In but only if they could get it past the censors. There are parts that are meant to be a little scandalous. In Season 2, Episode 1, for one sketch the guest star Barbara Feldon of Get Smart fame plays a rich woman wants to get involved in the recent protest movement but she hasn't the time to do it herself. She offers to sponsor a college student and provide him with branded sweaters. She instructs him to only give the sweaters to the right sort of protesters. It's a dig at racism, the idle rich and the failure of some people to understand what the protests were about.

The writers packed scripts with jokes knowing the censors would hack and slash the script apart. Whatever the censors missed, Laugh-In got on the air. I would love to get my hands on a pre-censor copy of a Laugh-In script.

Laugh-In got away with scandalous jokes because it was a ratings juggernaut. Popularity gave it power. It also gave it a pre-presidential guest star. Richard Nixon guest stared two months prior to his election.

Jokes can be ignored, elicit laughter or trigger other emotions. Comedy is a reflection of the creators or society. Sometimes, it's a reflection of dangerous and sad ideas that are held by the creators' or bad ideas the creators want to draw attention to.

A problem with picking things apart is I rarely just enjoy. Some media overcomes my dissection habit and makes me laugh. But dissection means I don't become complacent and accept the ideas being presented without thinking about them or overthinking about them.

The world has changed since Laugh-In. I have an idea about wars and conflicts. They don't end. They transform and they stay with us. We're fighting the same fights. We need to push back.

I Made a Magical Poppet today.

Poppets

A Useful Magical Diversion

Why I did it.

I have a few days off so I've been around the house and getting more productive writing done than I did in the previous two months. Yay productivity!

I have been extra stressed (only for the last three months or so) and that stress isn't going to disappear without a few miraculous events. I just have to live with it. Except I don't have to just live with it. I can get to work and make something. I can make a poppet.

What I used.

There's always fabric laying around my house. Literally piles of fabric. That is not to say I have any skill with fabric. I know how to thread a needle.

Poppets can be made out of anything. You don't get extra points for material cost or skill. They are traditionally made out of materials laying around the house. Extra points for innovation.

There's a long tradition in European folk magic of poppets. My experience is the same as everything else. It's limited to what I've done and what I've studied. I stick with the methods that work for me. I prefer improvisation and going with what feels right over tradition.

How I did it.

I cut out the front and the back. I stitched the head then turned it inside out. I did a running stitch around the rest of the doll and left enough space to stuff it. Then I stuffed it and stitched it closed. That's it.

There's the magical aspect of empowering the object with energy but that's personal. It's optional. If you get what you're looking for from making the poppet then the job is done.

Why do it at all. (You can skip this part if you don't like existential muck)

The act of making the poppet can be relaxing because making things can be relaxing. No pressure on the result. All power to the process.

Can a simple object take on magical strength? Is it just that it makes me feel better to feel like I have control? Will I ever write without stumbling into an existential internal debate?

I know it helps me. It would be foolish to assume I'm not a skeptic because of my beliefs. I believe and I question because I want to believe but I want truth and that can only be found by never accepting an answer and continually striving for answers.

Will I find enlightenment from a little toy? No. I have a cute little toy to help me with my stressy streak and a new idea for my novel.

Blast From the Past - Notes from re-watching the film

Blast From the Past

A Brief Review of the Film

Give me a weird comedy. Give me a happy diversion. I often research to find fun, odd and peculiar films to watch. I didn't do that to find Blast from the Past. I knew about it when it was released. I decided to watch it again when I saw it on HBOgo.

I never just watch a film. I overthink things. You've been warned. I know it's a movie but I won't shut off my brain and watch. I'll enjoy a film but I'll also pick it apart because that's fun for me.

Recommendation: I enjoy Blast from the Past. If you like the 90s odd Romantic comedy genre, you'll probably like it. If not, you might not.

The Very Basic Facts of the Film

A guy, who grew up in a fallout shelter, journeys into the world for the first time to find a wife.

The same basic plot concept could have easily been developed into a thriller with a few minor changes. Instead, it's a romantic comedy.

What's the Movie's deal?

Kooky couple Calvin and Helen Webber live in a fallout shelter after a plane crashes on their house. They think the big one hit and that the Valley is an irradiated cesspool of mutants. It isn't and they don't know this because Calvin left the radio on the surface. They live there in relative harmony for 35 years until their grown son Adam ventures into the world for the first time and meets Eve and falls in love.

Some Vital Statistics of the Film

Blast from the Past is about 18 years old. The normal in the movie is retro now. Blockbuster, most people not being affixed to their cell phones,  The movie is about a guy born in 62, raised watching a show from 55, emerging into the late 90s and now we're in the Ought-teens. We're about 55 years away from the start of the story.

Christopher Walken, Sissy Spacek, Alicia Silverstone, and Brendan Fraser star and seem to enjoy working on the film. Dave Foley of Newsradio and Kids in the Hall stands out as a costar. He was the reason I saw the movie in the first place. There are several well-placed cameos and enjoyable side characters.

I might ruin the movie for you. Or I might give you a few interesting thoughts.

Television

If they didn't have Adam, Helen would have murdered Calvin after the three hundredth Honeymooners repeat. Honeymooners was already 7 years old in 1962. The top shows in 1962 were The Beverly Hillbillies, Candid Camera and Red Skelton.

Helen

Helen's not happy in the shelter. She finds happiness in Adam and the hope of going back to the surface some day. In the beginning of the film showing their lives in the shelter, in the background Helen is suffering from depression. Dark, right? Did I ruin the movie for you yet? Adam gives her a mission and keeps them going. Maybe they would have had a child while in the fallout shelter or maybe Helen would have murdered Calvin and spent the rest of the years working on a way out of the fallout shelter while slowly succumbing to delusions and madness. I just got darker.

Calvin

Calvin thinks society collapsed and Calvin is kind of right. Society as he knew it did collapse. But he never seemed to be that in touch with reality. The life he lead was insulated from the world even before they went into the fallout shelter.

Ultimately, they would have died if Calvin wasn't a nutter who had spent years constructing a fallout shelter under their house because the plane would have killed them if they weren't waiting out the Cuban missile crisis underground. The lack of a radio begs the question, why didn't he have a back up radio in the fallout shelter? He bought thousands of yacht batteries, pipe tobacco and everything else but just one radio. Why did he cheap out on the radio? Did he have a secret radio that he listened to while Helen was giving Adam swing dance lessons?

Adam

Adam would be a profoundly screwed up guy. He has never seen the sky. There must be some neurological consequence to never seeing the sky. Would it effect the wiring of the brain? He's been comprehensively educated but his only social interactions have been with his parents. And explain the dance scene to me. I love a random dance scene and maybe it would make sense if the women were professional dancers. But imagine Adam flipping his mom like that.

Adam evolves during the story but sometimes it reads as Brendan Fraser dropping character. It's a hard character because of the narrative potential for tragedy in his story.

Eve

Eve is a rational romantic comedy lead. She is faced with a man telling her he wants to take her underground and calls the authorities. Good for Eve.

Makeup Art

The aging makeup for Calvin, Helen and Archbishop Melcher is very effective. Matthew W. Mungle is the reason for the elegant and convincing work. He is an all-star makeup artist. It's a classic case of money well spent. Bad aging makeup would have been a glaring problem through the rest of the film.

Comic Review: The time Batman fought Xenomorphs in a Mayan Temple - Batman/Aliens Part 2

Batman/Aliens - Part 2

An as I read it reaction to the comic

Quick Summary

Batman and a bunch of cannon fodder mercenaries take on Xenomorphs in a South American jungle.

Batman/Alien is a satisfying comic. You like Batman? You like Aliens? It's a worthy diversion.

This is a continuation of my review of part 1 which you can read here.

Where We Left Off

Okee-doke, Part 2 picks up the story of Batman and a bunch of mercenaries fighting Xenomorph in a jungle. Three mercenaries are dead, two to go. And Batman is kicking Xenomorph butt. Yay!

The first half left Batman, Hyatt (who is primed for a betrayal) and the acid burned, last surviving alien bait trapped in the underground tunnels of an old temple. Two Xenomorphs are running around and possibly a third one on the way.

Play-by-Play

Don't read this play-by-play if you don't want spoilers and nitpicking. I love the things I rip apart because the things I don't love aren't worth this kind of attention to me. I shred out of love and I love Batman.

In the Tunnel

Part 2 opens with Bruce and his parents in the alley but this time a mugger doesn't take them, aliens do.  He wakes from this nightmare to his living nightmare. Only Batman could sleep in a tunnel with two mercenaries while being hunted by Xenomorphs. He apologizes for sleeping. Hyatt offers Batman a gun and he says "No. Thank you." I like how polite (or steel bar stiff) he is. Either way, it's cute.

The offer of the gun begs the question, is she a fool or trying to kill him? Both are reasonable possibilities. Xenomorph blood is acid and no one with a gun fared has well in a fight.

Cut to the Croc

I'm guessing the croc ate the egg because it's with child and without facehugger. Wouldn't the facehugger just hold the mouth shut and I am thinking way too much about the yucky bits of facehugger anatomy...

Batman Always has Grenades

Bats stays calm and problem solves while the last surviving alien bait talks of death and Hyatt acts suspicious. They continue into the elaborate Mayan temple. Most archaeologists would wish the temples looked like that.

The Xenomorphs attack again and Batman is the only one who effectively fights them. No one gets they will bleed on you till you die. As he's Batman, he's packing grenades and he takes Xenomorph out because he's Batman. This deserves a "You had grenades all along?" from one of the mercenaries.

Escape in Sight

Hyatt reveals with a look that she's the typical corporate stooge there to bring back the Xenomorphs because dammit, they kill everyone but she's convinced she can do it and make some money. I'm counting down the pages to her karma induced death.

Batman leaves them to set up a secure line so they can all end their spelunking adventure. Alien bait relaxes and attracts the alien. Then we get the big Hyatt is evil reveal when she lets alien bait get dragged away. He might not be dead but if he isn't, chances are he's with child.

Bye, Hyatt

Hyatt's been working towards her death since page one. She just didn't didn't know it. Batman gets back to find Hyatt playing the sobbing woman. If he bought it, that's a huge plot hole because it's so obvious she's acting. She barely flinched when the rest of the guys died, so why would she fall apart after she killed the last Xenomorph?

Hyatt gives a why I did it speech. Meh. We know why she did it and Batman should. The reveal can be summed up in three words "Ambition and stupidity".

Let's Kill Some Aliens

A giant Xenomorph shows up. The croc had its baby. Batman uses the acid to break the cap on the volcano and dump crocoXenomorph in the magma. If the acid eats through a lair of rock in seconds, why didn't alien bait 3 lose his arm when he got sprayed?

Batman's immediately attacked again. A few bats provide a nice distraction so he can get the upper hand and dump the last Xenomorph in the lava.

He destroys the ruins, the alien ship, and gets home in a couple sentences. He gets philosophical and drops a facehugger he brought back into a hole in the cave. Why not incinerate it?

Everything's wrapped up. Batman's got a few more emotional and physical scars for his trouble.

Post Reaction

I liked it. Formulaic but solid. It lives up to expectations.

The artist delivers a great book. The settings, the treatment of the horror, the aliens and Hyatt's character design are among the high points. Nothing took me out of the story. I'm not willing to dock him for the roided men because it's a comic book.

The writer crafts a satisfying plot and a nice diversion. It was predictable but that has a lot to do with the genre. I appreciate the characterization of Batman. There are a couple moments that don't make sense like sleeping in the tunnel or believing Hyatt's act but other than that, I like this Batman. He gets the job done and he has a heart.

Comic Review: That time Batman beat up Xenomorphs - Batman/Aliens Part 1

Batman/Aliens - Part 1

An as I read it comic book reaction

Quick Summary

Batman and a bunch of cannon fodder mercenaries take on Xenomorphs in a South American jungle.

Me Before the Read

I know who's going to win. I have a vague sense of the beats the story's going to hit. I haven't opened the comic yet. The beats of the story are easy to guess from the genre, the franchises involved and the era. I want to be surprised but I'm not counting on it.

The comic came out in 1997 so it was released the same year as Alien: Resurrection and Batman & Robin. I saw both movies in the theaters and they are rife with issues.

My Point-of-View

I'm a Batman fanatic. I have a deep and longstanding emotional connection to the character of Batman.

Alien is a brilliant film. Watching it was an assignment for a film class. I expected to hate it because I don't like horror movies but the acting, the symbolism, the production design were all fantastic. I enjoyed being proven wrong.

Play-by-Play

If you want a basic summary, head over to Wikipedia's Batman/Aliens article. This is an as I read it reaction to the comic. As of the posting of this article, I haven't opened the second book yet.

If you plan on reading the comic and don't want to be surprised, stop here. If you don't like nitpicking comics, stop here. If you don't want my jokes about the comic, you were warned and anything that happens after this paragraph is entirely on you. I'm just writing it; I'm not clockwork oranging you into reading this. So let's carry on.

The comic starts with the usual "I'm Batman and this is my deal speech". The speech frames the story as Batman's recollections of the events in the jungle. I assume he isn't going to die by the end so it's not necessary and undermines the urgency of the story because there's no chance of a tragic ending (unless the writer betrays the readers).

Alternate Ending Idea

What about a Batman-Xenomorph? Would a Batman-Xenomorph be drawn with a batcowl? I know he wouldn't have a batcowl because the batcowl isn't part of his gene pool but would the artist have had the Xenomorph put on a shredded Batman costume. A sad but interesting ending image. I expect Batman is not going to get impregnated by a Xenomorph.

Batman's on his own.

He left Robin at home. That's good because people will die soon.

Batman recalls parachuting into a jungle in the batsuit. I understand he needs to keep up his brand and I love him for it. But why not camo or anything that would make sense for the setting?

Batman stands up for animal rights.

Batman survives a crocodile attack and meets a group of mercenaries. He stops a mercenary from killing the crocodile that just attacked him. Right on, Bats. But the croc swims off with its mouth corded shut. How is the animal meant to get its mouth open? Their mouths are easily held shut. The same strength that can take your arm off can't reopen the mouth.

Never get attached to mercenaries when there's a Xenomorph in the neighborhood.

Hyatt, the only woman among the mercenaries, stops the captain from shooting Batman. She's normal looking which is odd in a good way. She's dressed reasonably and no superboobs. She stands out among the roided mercenaries.

Hyatt introduces Batman to "Dead Man's Hand". I get laughing in the face of death but come on! Rather than a name that says, "Damn it, we're all going to die." perhaps choose a name for your mercenary team that says "Mess with us and you die." The name could just be the writer's way of saying four of them are dead and the fifth is an unknown (the Dead Man's Hand is black aces and eights with a fifth unknown card).

They start their jungle hike and no one brought a camera (except maybe Batman).

The group set off into the jungle to search for their targets and the big, bad captain of Dead Man's Hand wants nothing more than to knock Batman down a few pegs. This is not going to happen. Batman could take him down with a punch and he's just being polite by letting the captain keep his gun. So the machismo posturing of the team's captain is a little amusing.

At this point, I have one thought, "I wonder when the captain's going to die." It's coming. Hyatt is the only person other than Batman with a shot of walking out of the jungle alive. There are other guys on the team and we are introduced to them but they might as well be called Alien bait 1, 2, 3.

The plot speeds along.

Points to the comic, the writer doesn't waste any time. The story is established, the ship is found and the facehuggers and eggs are located.

The alien bait shooting at a monkey (Bats says nothing) is an obvious set up for alien bait 1 to get attacked.

Checkhov's Gunman?

Hyatt tells Batman she's on the team out of ambition for power. The only people that gain power going on suicide missions in South American jungles looking for alien ships are bad people. I will be shocked if Hyatt doesn't try to kill Bats before the end of the story or at least betray him. In the world of Batman, a lust for power usually turns someone into a supervillain.

Batman's Mission

We learn Batman is there because Wayne Tech employees have broken off contact. They're dead.

Bats

The big bad mercenaries are scared by a cloud of bats (bats are adorable).

What would a bat-Xenomorph look like? Not a Batman/Bruce Wayne Xenomorph but a Chiroptera Xenomorph.

"You want a meal, try me!"

Alien bait 1 dies by a bullet to the head. The Xenomorphs attack and Batman beats them up while Alien bait 2 dies from a mouth monster to the head. Captain dies and takes one of them with him in an unsurprising grenade suicide. These are typical Alien movie deaths.

Uh-oh

Book one ends with the crocodile from the beginning finding a facehugger egg on the verge of opening. I'm happy the crocodile got the rope off his mouth but bummer about the facehugger. Curious to see how the facehugger is about to impregnate the crocodile. It doesn't seem like they were designed for that.

Part 2: Coming Soon

Comic Review: That Time Batman Got Abducted by Aliens

Batman: The Abduction - A Comic Review

That time Batman got abducted by aliens

And I don't mean Kal-El and J'Onn threw him in a van

Batman: The Abduction (by Alan Grant, Norm Breyfogle, James A. Hodgkins) is a one-shot story with the dark knight dealing with UFOs and aliens in Gotham.

The Set-Up

One normal night in Gotham while chasing after some bad guys, Batman is abducted by Grays.

The Context

The comic came out in 1998. X-Files was on the air. This was two years after the original Independence Day and one year after Batman & Robin (I have a complicated relationship with Batman & Robin that I will not go into here. This book bears no resemblance to it).

The comic cast of familiar characters is limited to Batman and Alfred. Commissioner Gordon makes an appearance but that's about it. Batman is on his own. The usual Rogue's Gallery doesn't even make an appearance. It's a night in the life of Batman.

Reaction/Review

Plot good, writing good, art good. Good, not great. A fun bit of nostalgia. It doesn't send the reader into another world because the whole story is formulaic. Batman's abducted by aliens and looks for answers. There's even a tropetastic UFO convention.

The quality of the art in Batman: The Abduction is great but a little uneven. A few moments with weird facial expressions are jarring to look at. There's a fun fight scene between Batman and a phantom Bruce Lee, a few surreal touches and a few sci-fi movie creatures. It could have taken it much further and I wish it had. I wish the script had taken it further too.

The comic doesn't aspire to break new ground. I enjoyed it. It was a quick read. It's exactly what you expect when you pick up a comic book promising Batman will get abducted by aliens. There are a few surprises but nothing too surprising. Not exciting. Underwhelming.

I would have loved it if I'd read it in 1998 because it would have been feeding into my existing obsession with UFOs and aliens. I would have read it over and over again. I would have written fan fiction. But I'm not so it didn't do much as much for me now as it would have done for 1998 me.

I wouldn't dissuade anyone from reading it but it's nothing earth shattering. It's previously covered ground just Batman's covering it this time. There's no big twist or little twist or microtwist.

Yellow Submarine - One of the Greatest Music Videos Ever

Yellow Submarine

My Nominee for the Greatest Music Video Ever Made

Okay, here's how dense I can be sometimes. I've seen Yellow Submarine at least a dozen times (low-end estimate) and I just got a joke for the first time. Ringo says in the beginning that he's a born lever puller. That joke's gone over my head every other time. Now, to the point of this article, the greatest music video...

Pitching a Viewing of the Movie

Do I need to convince you to watch it? It's brilliant, beautiful, significant, resonant. If you don't like the Beatles, stay away. If you do, sit down and watch it. What are you waiting for? Watch it. (Tempting to go all caps there) Silly jokes, good music and digressions into theories of time. It's all there.

Musical or Music Video?

The line is somewhat blurred. Yellow Submarine is by far more a music video than a proper musical. 

Not everyone sings in Yellow Submarine. Only the Beatles (and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band) sing. Though the people of Pepperland play instruments briefly. The songs don't often progress the plot. They inspire the plot. Nowhere Man was recorded October 21 and 22, 1965 (How cool is it that the date is so easy to find? #factgeek) and inspired the creation of Jeremy Hillary Boob Ph.D.

The film incorporates different styles of animation to create a fantastical psychedelic journey into a world inspired by the songs. The songs were written and recorded, some years, before production started. A few songs were produced for the film and a soundtrack was released but there's no plot in the songs. The "Senile Delinquents" break out into giant beards and "When I'm 64" while they're going back in time. It's a brilliant song, cute scene but the song and the event in the plot do not connect.

Back before MTV (I miss wanting my MTV. I still remember the first music video I ever saw on MTV. A-ha "Take on me". Coincidentally, Yellow Submarine also uses rotoscoping but "Take on me" is far more elaborate.) and back when viral videos were lengths of scandalous films you watched in your friend's garage on a projector and white sheet, Yellow Submarine was a blockbuster in the theaters. They were everywhere and if you couldn't see them in person or they weren't on television that night, you were down to about one option, going to the movies.

Influence

The film does everything a music video and a great music video should do. It promotes the songs and it elevates the songs with amazing visuals.

The movie made a cultural impression. There have been toys, homages and thankfully failed attempts at remakes. Danger Mouse did an episode inspired by Yellow Submarine. Teen Titans evoked the film in the episode Mad Mod with a supervillain trapped (mentally) in the past. 

The style of the film is so iconic and vibrant, it demands to be referenced in cartoons. The film featured psychedelic, op art, and pop art. The sea of holes plays with op art expertly to create a dimensional setting with just the characters and black dots.

Lingering Questions

Who are in the other submarines?

Did that cat ever get home?

Where can I buy an Unidentified Flying Cupcake? Sounds tasty.

Did Ringo ever sneeze?

Is "Blue Meanie" a slang for some kind of pill? If not, it should be.

Would you go in a Yellow Submarine?

Did the Vacuum Flask Beast suck itself into oblivion?

Why does no one acknowledge Jeremy Hillary Boob Ph.D. is a god? He can create something from nothing. He's not nowhere. He's trying to fill the hours of eternity with education and creation.

If Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club band were in the orb and their gear was in the house then what were they wearing and playing when they got orbed?

What does it mean to oblueterate someone?

Did that blue dog have a butt?

Is the Yellow Submarine really Miss Frizzle's bus?

Do I overthink things? Yes, there's nothing lingering about that question. I overthink everything and I enjoy the sensation.

The Kids in the Hall - Froggy Chases the Dragon with Harold Hedgehog

The Kids in the Hall

Season 2

A Quick Commentary

As always, this will be quite biased. I love the Kids in the Hall.

The Kids in the Hall are kings of dark twists. The Canadian comedy troupe featuring Scott Thompson, Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald, Mark McKinney and Bruce McCulloch. I learned to love them when my sister watched them on Comedy Central. Maybe starting with them at a fairly young age left me with a slightly warped sense of humor but...oh well. Too late to worry about that now.

Rewatching the Kids in the Hall, they're often tame by modern standards (or blatantly offensive depending on what you're looking at). The comedy often target suburban Canada with dinner parties, teenagers, and families. But they aren't limited to that. They also target stereotypes, machismo and anything else from which they can mine humor.

Modern Standards?

Season 2 premiered in 1990. Seinfeld and Full House were on the air. At the time, I was watching Tiny Toons and Tailspin. Computers were...underwhelming. I didn't see the Kids for the first time till a few years later. (Full disclosure, I still watch Tiny Toons.)

They're a fine vintage of comedy. Compared to some comedies out there, they're tame. Compared to others, they're insane.

They have returned to being the Kids in the Hall for a movie, a tour and a mini series. All returns due to popular demand.

Highlights

Season 2 has a high body count. A planet, a few murder victims, medical malpractice and what not. There's a betoweled man, general madness and flatheads everywhere.

"Look into my face and know to look into my face is to look into the face of evil."

McKinney as the devil, the French fur traders Jacques and Francois, the Pit of Ultimate Darkness, Buddy Cole, Bobby Terrence, two clearly insane people, the Headcrusher and other iconic characters. There are too many iconic characters to list. There's no point. It's so much better to just watch them.

Some sketches string together to create a common thread through out the show or season. Repeating jokes and characters don't diminish, they build on the impact.

"Prepare to Be Expurgated."

Watching through the entire season, I saw some old favorites and some sketches I've forgotten. My favorite is Book, Bottle, Blonde. Hard-boiled tropes speak to me. We've reached the origin of the post title. Book, Bottle, Blonde is the story of a hard-boiled children's book author. I want to read that book, watch that movie and be his fangirl.

Twitter

Follow the Kids on twitter and see what they're doing right now @BrucioMcCulloch, @KevintheKith, @Mark_DMcKinney, @ScottThompson_, and @DaveSFoley

4 Lessons from Telling a Strange Story

4 Lessons from Telling a 

Strange Story on Youtube

Learn By Doing

1. Take a goal that is beyond the reach of your skills (but not too far. No brain surgery without qualification. Don't be a Walter Freeman and go experimenting with fancy ice pick ideas.)
2. Decide on a project like sculpting a paperclip out of paper to make a social comment on paper clips. Or tell a strange, simple story in your own words (I cannot emphasize enough no brain surgery.) 
3. Go for it. (Just no ice picks.)
4. Look at the end result and see what you did right while accepting what you did wrong.
5. Then start all over again with the lessons you've learned.

I Learn By Doing

Not Named is a mystery. Things are disappearing from the world and no one wants to acknowledge it except her.

Projects leave me with a sense of accomplishment at the end that cannot be acquired from simply studying. I started telling a story on Youtube. I have the basics of equipment (a laptop) and did little research into best practices.

Every episode, I've tried something new to improve on my performance and production of the previous episode.

My Lessons Learned

After a few episodes I have learned (be prepared for more than a few "no duhs")...

1. Audacity can reduce background noise but it takes experimenting to reduce the noise without distorting the voice.
2. Laptop microphones are not ideal because no matter how quiet the room is, it picks up the fan. I'm currently shopping for a replacement. But I didn't feel comfortable spending any money till I knew if I liked it. I have too many electronics and appliances that gather dust.
3. Scripts should not be written like short stories. Comments on pauses and emotions are helpful. (Hey, at least I wrote the scripts in advance and didn't try to do it spontaneously)
4. The British Library has beautiful images that fit with the feel I want for the story. A thoughtful background justifies posting on youtube. I'm still working on how to improve this further.

Even knowing little (nothing, I knew nothing), I know these are obvious lessons and I would have learned all of this if I was like you dear reader and did more research than listening to podcasts. The lessons were drilled home by listening to the results of each episode. Learning by going through the process is what works for me (for better or worse)

What's next for Not Named?

Next episode.

I learn my lessons. I want to learn yours.

Any words of advice for a novice podcaster? I'm open to any advice I can get (I need it).

What A Way To Go! - A Quick Movie Review

What a Way to Go!

A Quick and Partial Film Review

What A Way To Go!, directed by the prolific J. Lee Thompson, was released in 1964 and discovered by me over fifty years later while researching Edith Head. I found a strange and quirky comedy that I love.

What's the Deal?

Shirley McClaine plays a quadruple widow. A quadwidow? I can't find the adverbial number for four times but suffice it to say she's buried more than a few dudes. Her lost loves are played by Paul Newman (I get it now), Robert Mitchum (Who I only knew from MST3K jokes) , Gene Kelly and Dick Van Dyke. Her no-love-lost is played by Dean Martin.

Louisa tells a psychiatrist the whole story of how she got $200 million (Now, it would be over 1.5 billion), why she's desperate to give it away and how she became Louisa May Hopper-Flint-Anderson-Benson nee Foster.

What A Way To Go! - A Quick Movie Review

Why I love it?

Besides the quirky fun, the film is a tribute to the classic genres of film (silent, French, big budget, musical). Each marriage is defined as a tribute to that film.

The film is often described as "Black Comedy" but that's not accurate in my opinion. Just the comedic deaths of her husbands doesn't qualify it. The movie more comfortably fits into the screwball category with slapstick, plot focused on marriage and the ridiculousness of a woman marrying her way to a 200 million dollar fortune by accident.

EDITH HEAD!

Have you ever heard of Edith? You haven't? She is responsible for the eclectic and ideal costumes of the film. According to Shirley McClaine, Edith Head had a budget of half a million and she makes good use of it. She is a legend. If you like fashion, watch this movie. The wardrobe is worth it.

My brain starts running away.

Louisa May wants a simple life and I guess I do too. Skip to the end if you don't like mental rabbit holes. We only know the lives we lead. When that life is changed against our will, it's hard to see what's around the next corner. I'm not accustomed to uncertainty. I don't handle it well because of that. I'm not experienced at change, I'm experienced with constants. Constants are simple because you can just live and know what to expect. I guess, I'm not looking for simple but a reliable life. I would love a pink pill. Does anyone happen to know where I might find one?

Back to the Point

The zany and unrealistic tone of the movie fits because it's not the past, it's how Louisa remembers it. Married life is perfect until they're successful. Except it's not perfect, she remembers the love as perfect.

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure - A Quick Review

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure

A Quick and Partial Review

The opening scene of the movie sets the tone. It's a fantasy of a man aspiring to be a hero. I love Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. If you want to have fun, you'll enjoy it. It's a movie I could watch a hundred times. So, my opinion is not impartial and never could be.

What's the deal?

Pee-Wee travels around the country looking for his beloved bike. He's sent on this adventure after a fortune teller tells him his bike is in the basement of the Alamo. The movie's got bikers, escaped prisoners, fake nuns, clown surgeons and more.

Why should you watch it?

Tim Burton's feature directorial debut is a classic that spawned a television series, two sequels and a live tour. It has a soundtrack by Danny Elfman, Phil Hartman (love him <3) among the writers and a custom made bike that makes me want to ride. I can't ride bikes, I'm too big of a klutz. Paul Reubens had a dream team to bring this vision to life.

Why do I love it?

I over-analyze films. Shutting off my brain and going "Gee, this is fun." is not in my nature. Movies that appear superficial and frivolous often aren't. Film like this appeal to me as long as they're weird enough to keep me entertained. The kitsch and oddities of the film show careful thought and the wild imagination of the crew.

I'm not fond of CGI being used when other tools would work. Practical effects and stop motion animation give a film visual interest. They also give films a reality that cannot be achieved otherwise because the things actually exist. This film has some of the most effective use of stop motion I've ever seen in a live action film.

Some movies try so hard to fool us rather than can create a world for us to enter. They can create another reality while acknowledging that it's just a movie. This movie succeeds in creating another reality, another world and inviting the viewer in.

Like so many of my favorite films, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure is just good, quirky fun. I love it and it's worth watching over and over until you're permanently humming the Tequila Song.

5 Things I Did to Expand my Mind - Week of 12/12/16

Five Ways to Expand My Imagination

 

For the week of December 12, 2016

The imagination cannot be allowed to atrophy. It's hard to imagine amazing places when reality dominates every thought. So that's my frame of mind.  Reality is taking its toll on me but I'm fighting for my dreams.

I think I'm having another quarter-life crisis or maybe I just convinced myself I was done with my first one when I wasn't. So, I'm dealing with my probable quarter-life crisis through proactive efforts to change myself and my life. It's my only positive coping mechanism.

I did five things this week to expand my mind, flex my imagination's muscle and generally try to improve myself as a creator. Maybe it's less about expanding my mind but imagination life support but I'll try to keep The Rel Show's advice in mind and remember I can get through anything. These are five of the things I did this week.

1. Studied Ruby Programming

Derek Banas has a channel on youtube with comprehensive lessons on Ruby. Ruby is a dynamic programming language with an easy to understand syntax. Banas's videos were the perfect thing the watch while I did paperwork. He goes fast but I didn't watch the video expecting to remember every detail. His introductory video exposes the viewer to many concepts of Ruby and offers a strong launching off point.

Ruby has attracted me because of the sound of the language. Also Why's (Poignant) Guide to Ruby is just too cool for me not to want to know about Ruby. I am attracted to anything that can inspire such strange creative works of art.

My programming skills are non-existent but my aspirations continue. Next, I need to find good resources for learning the theories of programming and how to actually make something useful.

2. Watched Monty Python

I have had a long standing bias against Monty Python. I saw Monty Python and the Holy Grail once and I didn't get it. I swore off Monty Python from then on. Yes, I know I never gave it a chance. Now, I have and I love it.

Saturday before last, on a whim I grabbed 3 Monty Python DVDs when I was at the library. I watched all 3 in succession then last Saturday I got the rest of the DVDs for a binge.

It's mad, crazy, strange and I'm sure I don't understand all the jokes. The interstitial animations are fantastic. I'm sorry for doubting you for so long Monty Python. Forgive me?

3. Studied Puppetry

I received my first puppet this week. All part of a grand scheme of mine but not one of my larger grand schemes. I want to be a puppeteer and, like so many things in life, the way to be a puppeteer is to get a puppet and work with the puppet. Puppetry lead me to watching videos about how to work a puppet and practicing (because I don't want to just be a crappy puppeteer). It also lead me to number 4 on the list.

4. Watched Muppet Show

Can anyone name a more influential puppeteer than Jim Henson? If so, I want to know. I've seen a few episodes over the years but now I'm studying it to see what made these characters so iconic. (There are not enough hours in the day to binge everything. But I'm make progress.)

5. Listened to The Dollop

Shudder inducing and so funny. The Dollop is a podcast featuring Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds. The typical episode is Dave telling Gareth a story from American history (We are an insane country founded by lunatics and still chiefly composed of lunatics. Am I lunatic? Maybe. I'll own it, I might be a typical American lunatic.). I am a late comer to the show meaning I still have days of abject horror spiced with funny left to catch up on.

When I'm listening to The Dollop, everyone around me thinks I'm insane when they learn I'm laughing about the history of sanitation in New York. So, bonus.

For next week? I don't know yet.

Poem - Dream Drug

Dream Drug

If dreams were a drug,

I would overdose every night

I would make morning wait
I would leave the world unattended
I would never be present in the day
I would pound the snooze with one clenched fist
I would fight afternoon withdrawals with a my head on a pillow
The war on drugs would require an armistice

Or prohibition would render the world criminal

If dreams were a drug,
I would never abstain

I Would like a Talking Puppy.

If I had a talking puppy...

I was brainstorming ideas for sketches and random thought, What if I had a talking puppy? There were talking dogs everywhere when I was little on TV and in the movies. I always thought it was a dull premise for a sitcom. My dream dog is (unsurprisingly) Batman's dog Ace. I would like a big, brilliant, loyal pooch.

Dogs are our friends. I've always felt distaste towards referring to a pet as a child because pets hold a special status in our lives. They are friends. They are in our lives because we both want to share our lives. If the dog could talk then the friendship would take on different dimensions. I would want a talking puppy because he would be a friend.

Puppies are cute. I don't want a puppy because puppies are better than adult dogs. Adult dogs have so much to offer and puppies are cute because that's the only way we'll put up with the puppy destroying everything. Also if you start with a puppy and they don't stop destroying everything then when they're adults you're kind of locked in because they're your dog for better or worse.

We could talk about everything! When I had a bad day at work, he could help me through the problem. I wouldn't have to worry about what he did all day because he'd have his own doggy door and just go off and live his life.

If I had a talking puppy then I'd know he didn't grow into adulthood around idiots and psychos (just a well-meaning weirdo). He wouldn't go around spouting racist diatribes because I'd teach him better than that. I'd expose him to the beauty of the diversity in the world. It's hard enough to change a human's mind when they grow attached to toxic ideas, I imagine changing a talking dog's mind would be even harder. But I suppose it would be rewarding to show the talking dog that the world is bigger and filled with better people than he ever knew.

With adult dogs, you don't know what lives they lived before you. You could be the best thing that ever happened to them. I'm always afraid of what the dog went through before me. Maybe it would be easier with talking dogs. I could talk it out with him or if it's really bad I could get him therapy.

A talking dog would be easier to train because I wouldn't have to. He's smart enough to talk, he's smart enough to tell me "I have to use the backyard."

If more than just my dog could talk, it would alter the fabric of society. Oh...wow...I really shouldn't think that much about sketch ideas. But I think by now, you could see why the idea of a talking puppy didn't seem that funny to me (And I overthink things.)

The shows from when I was little were usually about people who became dogs or unique people who could talk to dogs. Now, there are plenty of shows with talking dogs like Family Guy...etc (I'm not that invested into coming up with further examples).

I'm really more of a cat person but I would be sore if I had a talking cat that refused to talk to me and that's the kind of thing a cat would do. Really, cats could be able to talk and simply refuse to do so. Thats would be such a cat thing to do.

Short Story - Black Box

Black Box

The black box lived in the back of the closet since before they shut down the library the first time to tear out the asbestos. The back office had long been a dump for worthless junk that wasn't garbage. Not the strangest thing we pulled from the old library. The strangest thing was the cardboard box of annotated explicit magazines under the reference librarian’s desk. The collection spanned several decades and bore the handwriting of many different people. I refused to touch it without a hazmat suit.

The black box was about the size of a microwave. It took time, effort, sweat and the blood from my smashed thumbed to get it home. I ran a finger along the fresh gouge I'd made on the tabletop. I should have left it on the floor but I only had had that thought after the property damage.

I studied the lumpy surface, pressing the convex and concave features hoping to trigger a switch. Nothing happened.

I pushed it onto its side. The bottom had four black screws flush with the surface. It reminded me of the VCR I took apart once to retrieve a pile of colorful bits. I've always loved forcing open broken piece of electronics to see what bits I could find inside.

I found a driver to fit and started my attack on the screws. Black paint flaked off the screwheads. I muttered a prayer to the patron saint of handymen, “Right tight, left loose.” The screw began to turn. A rivulet of pink ran from the screw down the box to the tabletop.

I tapped my finger in the viscous goo. I imagined that all toxic things smelled like industrial cleaner. The goo didn't smell like cleaner, it smelled like lip gloss. I took a sponge to the table and successfully smeared it into the grain of the wood. I had stained the table and my index finger neon pink.

I covered the table with newspapers to protect it from further destruction (another thought I should have had sooner). I freed the screw from the casing. Goo continued to leak out. I went to the second screw, then the third and the fourth. Goo ran out of each hole.

I stuck the screw driver into one of the holes and pried the panel. The black paint cracked and the panel came free. I cheered. I lowered the panel and looked inside. Not wires, circuits or diodes. Veins, bone and membranes.

I heard Dad's footsteps in the hallway. He called out. “I’m home. How was the library? Get anything interesting?”

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer.

He stepped into the doorway. “What is that? What are you doing? And do I want to know?” The smile faded. “Are you okay?”

I shook my head. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“What's wrong?”

I shook my head again. I clasped a hand over my mouth before I saw the stain. I backed away from the table. He blocked me from fleeing the room.

“You're scaring me. What's wrong?”

He stepped to the table and studied the box. He turned and smiled, "You're overreacting. This is not a big deal."

Nimshod Deposed

Nimshod Deposed

A stoplight stains hyetal water to blood

Freon ghosts breath down my back

A fountain filled with vicious wishes

Stone slick as a broken neck

Villainy possesses these hollow streets

Virtue finds an ally in me

A simple purpose defines my night

Exorcise the terror from this city

The Nimshod perpetrates pain and theft

He claims a throne, demands a crown

Ruler of an illegitimate dominion founded on fear

I pursue his putsch and dissolution

Our war of wills and weapons waged in alleyways

His allies have been confined to dreary places with bars and guards

It’s a one to one war

An armored shadow against a pretend monarch

His muscles and nails, grab and dig

His features, a deadset cure for sleep, defined by white lines on gray flesh

His hatched and stippled eyes, his bared teeth, his curled lips

Growl, laugh, hiss, mock

The hours wear me down to my single error

I fall and crawl like a bat in a birdbath

Water floods under clothes, over skin

My hands grasp the coins

I am the BB, the seed, the girl with the fatal delusion that she could win

That’s what I want him to see

Caudal bait to hook

He bites the metal

Now is my time, to tear him down

Mere moments to try or die

Adrenaline drowns my fear

I rise to it

I’m in gear, on my feet and on the offense

My mental mantra screams, “Show your strength.”

My practice pays

With a fistful of coins, I strike his face and back he rears

His desperation drives him

To lash out wildly, to lunge at me

He blares deadly warning like a klaxon

He crashes to the water

His finish is now, the night is quiet

Only the furious rhythm of my heart

Still and stock, he lays afloat in the water

Only the slow rise of his breath

He demanded revenge for the wounds in his pride

He wanted recompense for his lost wealth

His aimed to reclaim his power

I took what was left

I pursued my foe and I let him know fear

I held my ground and I took his

I fought to live and I lived the fight

I never stopped and I stopped him

Sirens will sound, words will be printed

Stories will be told, remixed, interpolated, and retold

A single shared truth will bind the twisted words

The reign of the Nimshod is over

Day will break

Life will happen

Then night will return

As will I

Neon drips and puddles in the street

Freon ghosts flutter in the night

A marble fountain filled with wishes

A present bound for prison

Note - Originally posted on Dreams Taste Good April 26, 2014