I'm Glad I'm Free to Be Me

Devoted Surrealist

A Little Off Kilter

Okay, here's my big, bad, terrible secret. Well, one secret and it's not that bad. I'm just a little...kind of a nutter.

I'm anxious all the time. I obsess about strange things. I try to hide it when I get angry because my anger is so transient and stupid that I regret it when I express it. I'm not normal. I'm weird and I love being weird.

People tend to make assumptions about what I'm thinking. I'm so usually deep inside my own head in an idea so weird that I dare not say a word about the puppet, glitter, talking fish 🐟 fantasies swimming through my gray matter and I'm not thinking about them. It's taken me a long time to learn to be myself and accept myself. Fortunately, I've always had people in my life that accepted me even when I didn't.

I figure, we are who we decide to be. We can change and we can be changed. We can forget that ever person around us is going through much the same crap but in a completely different way.

Opened My Eyes 👀

One day recently, I went to the library and I looked around. For the first time, I really saw the diversity around me. I guess reading about the divisions in my country made me notice all these different people. I loved that perfect moment.

I was standing in middle of a library with all these ideas and people surrounding me. It was peace ☮ and zen. These were my people. They were checking out books and movies. They were on the computers and working. Everyone was just being. None of these people were like me. They didn't look like me, they probably didn't think like me and we all had our own things going on. It was perfect.

Maybe I'm a Bird Brain

I've been thinking about what people see when they look at me. I used to have these daydreams where everyone around me turned into zoo animals. Mostly different kinds of birds. Ostriches, canaries, chickens, ducks. Not geese. Geese are mean. (Welcome to my mind.) I wonder if their ideas are any more accurate than my daydream.

Not Easy Being

 I've always identified with superheroes. Not because I felt powerful but because I want to be a hero and because I have a secret identity. I know how to put on a normal face to hide a qualities people probably won't accept. I'm not good at it but I know how to hide. I'm a surrealist, chaote, asexual, liberal, woman and many other things.

I've been told that I would grow out of some of my traits. I've been laughed off and ignored.

It's not easy when people regard you as damaged because you're not like them. It's not easy when people think you're going to hell because you don't believe like them. It's not easy being around people when they think these things about you. It's easy when you decide those people can go rot if they don't want to accept you. It's wonderful being around people that take you as you are and love that person.

I'm lucky. I get to be me and whatever that means in that moment. I face judgement and I do hide sometimes.

No one can really grasp how much it means to me to have the peace that comes with knowing who I am and having people accept me. I want everyone to have that happiness. I'll fight to hold onto that happiness and make sure other people get it too because it really kicks ass.