Poem - Repent Less

Repent Less

Forgive yourself for being the worst

You have a broken stem and your petals are a mess

But not your fault, the flowers are just shop worn

You think you are stained and your peril is a stress

I can prove that secrets are a waste on me

Because the secret is I am sure I am worse

Forgive me for telling everyone

I talk to the dead and mix my dreams in with reality

I would lick a third rail in winter

My sense of theatricality comes with a thread of brutality

I talk all night to an absent audience

Nothing worth keeping, just lies worth leaving

Let us spoil every moment by discovering how this ends

We could start at the end of tracks

I am the joke people tell again and again

We cannot see the knick-knacks for the cracks

We are both a kind of horrible

In the way that makes the bad guy’s hair stand on end

I could tell you how our happily ever after is prelude to a new war

I am not your queen today

I am just a rook with delusions of value

I will give my everything to save the day

But I might not save myself

Guess I’m really just a pawn that should have taken the tiara

My head is filled with cereal in all the fakest flavors

Even reality wants to abandon me

They point out our problems with their center digits

We both have our terrors

But I will tell you what you told me

No one is as good as you and no one saves me like you do

Can of Worms-style Hypersigil

Open a Magical Can of Worms

Magic (as I see it) is committing energy, will and intent to influence the world. It's working with the universe to achieve a goal that I could not achieve alone.

A hypersigil is a complex magical venture. A hypersigil is an extended sigil, or symbol of magical intent, incorporating narrative and changing over time.

Hypersigils can include many art forms but they do not need to. For me, words are the thing. They are a natural artistic medium for me to work in and the easiest way I know to tell a story.

How to Make Things Interesting

Or Why My Hero Blew Up

Recently, I incorporated a strange element into my story. This inclusion has begun to translate through out the novel. The thing is, it wasn't supposed to. I threw the object in a single sentence then it began showing up in other places in the story and changing the choices of my characters. One sentence and everything started shifting.

I put the element in to achieve a specific aim and now as a composed building is blowing up, my goal is starting to come to fruition (an it's not an explosive goal). To be honest, it's working fast. Time will only tell if it's for the better of my story and my life. My story is meant to transform me. I so hope it's for the better.

Open Your Can of Worms Carefully

This catalytic can of worms made me think about what it takes to create a hypersigil. A hypersigil is a delicate sledgehammer. Big things happen and if you go crazy with it, you can hit a waterpipe and flood the whole darn place. Create carefully.

Never forget Grant Morrison's description that his work on The Invisibles "consumed and recreated my life during the period of its composition and execution."

Hypersigils can get intense and that doesn't necessarily mean you're doing it right or wrong. Just prepare to accept the results of your work and put up a fight when something is happening that you don't want to happen. You need to be able to write your way out of it.

What do you want?

You know this old saying, 'Be careful what you wish for.'

Be sure of what you want. You are opening a magical fun, happy can of gelatin and corn syrup worms and the worms people eat in YouTube videos where they make freaky foods to hook viewers. Things will happen outside of your expectations.

Want Good Things

If you want something for angry and vengeful reasons, you are poisoning yourself with your own thoughts. You can do that but be ready to live with that negative energy because it will be coming from you and you'll be tangled in the vicious hypersigil. It's better to want good because the world can be better.

Now that the warning portion is over. Let's have some fun.

What do you want?

Keep asking yourself. Demand the answer from yourself. Figure out the exact truth. Know your why. Know your goal. But be okay with that goal changing midsigilization.

In sigilization, our thoughts and intents reshape our reality. The sigil can take on a power of its own. Our desires influence the world and our lives. Know what you want because you will get it.

Do you want peace? Write a story of characters stopping chaos in their lives or in a greater conflict. It doesn't have to literally reflect your situation. An intergalatic war or a microscopic battle. Draw in elements from your life and put in elements you want in your life.

How do you do it?

If you're a writer then you know how to do it. Write. Tell the story.

Embrace your creativity. Embrace your instincts. The sigil is an extension of yourself. It is an embodiment who you are and what you feel. Choose a personal symbol for your goal. This symbol needs to hold meaning for you and if no one else sees the connection then it doesn't matter. You know what you mean.

Incorporate the symbol literally or metaphorically into the novel. Don't shy away from the symbol. Don't wait for the perfect moment to incorporate the new element into your story. Put it in now. Right where you are. Stop reading and write that sentence. Write about the unlocked door with the mysterious sounds on the other side. Let your character open the door. Write now (pun intended).

How does the sigil work?

You can't bend the universe to your will but you can change the world around you and you can change yourself.

The hypersigil works from you and beyond you. Put your effort and your thoughts into it. Let yourself change, let the hypersigil change. Change the world of the story. The elements of the story will work together to create a catalyst to change everything.

The only question left is, how far can you push it?

Fighting with my Novel's 2nd Draft

The Editing War of Draft Two

I'm scared. I'm hacking my draft apart like a horror movie slasher. I just tore out two chapters I agonized over when I first wrote them. This war against my weak words, procrastination, self loathing and inane twists is getting brutal.

Should editing hurt?

It doesn't hurt. It's overwhelming and scary but I tend to feel that way about everything difficult in the world. Editing is just tearing out words that I spent days of my life writing and replacing them with others.

The hemorrhaging of words is leaving me weak and clawing to hold onto the original ideas and forcing me to infuse new ideas. It's worth the fight.

Is this for the greater good of the novel?

Yes. Resolutely yes.

I am a better writer today than I was two months ago. At least, I really, really, really hope I  am. It would be miserably depressing if I was a worse writer. I am also a different writer than I was two months ago.

Tearing out some chapters and working in others is changing the shape of the story. It's giving me the opportunity to incorporate new ideas, inspirations and story lines. Months ago when I wrote the first lines, I had never watched Innovation Nation with Mo Rocca and Ali Ward, I was babysitting every weekend and I had never heard Hamilton. Those are just three changes. The book is changing accordingly.

The novel needs to change.

It's an opportunity. I have never gotten this far. I don't know what comes next. I just keep studying, working and fighting to make this better.

I'm working on myself, changing myself, changing the words and making a better novel.

Will I ever feel like I'm not wanting? Probably not. I will always strive. Writers must never be satisfied. There's always a different way to say something.

Why I'm up at 1 AM watching Wings and Cougar Town

Why I Stay Up at Night

For years, I have written voluminous emails at midnight, beaded bracelets with sleep blurred eyes and wrote my way out of depression while listening to the sounds of late night tv.

Recently, I've been watching my way through Wings and Cougar Town an episode or two at a time each night. I don't believe in turning in early even if I have to get up. Only the flu (or a baby virus, I have never been so sick in my life as I have been from the colds I have caught from my nephews) can drive to my bed. The night is too much of a pleasure to give up a moment of it.

Those hours when everyone else is asleep and I'm sitting up in the light of my computer are haven. They make the strain of the world easier to bear.

The world isn't quite as real at one in the morning and I love that. The real world is defined by sudden moments of dumbfounding chaos. The real world hurts. The real world fails dreams. The night is an eye to the storm of life.

Sense is made and shattered with each word my fatigued fingers punch into these keys. My suffering sanity wanders away and I am free. I am free to wander in and out of the worlds I love. Become more, be nowhere, embrace and hope and fear and love.

In the night, thoughts erupt without the burden of the real world weighing them down. It's not the real world because its more true. It's real because of its consequences, demands, requirements and preeminence over all. Real because it forces other things to matter less even when they are everything.

The word is everything even when it's nothing. When it's nothing, my self shatters. When it's present, I exist. The word unites the scraps of me. The word is analgesia.

I'm uttering hopes from a strained heart. Breathless pain of the day begone. Fears for tomorrow are hidden by shadows. I don't stare down the barrel of the day; I shelter myself behind the wall of night. Me and my weaponized mental state combat the everyday decay with words assembled in new ways.

Hope's cracks are accepted. Tomorrow's promise is not yet broken.

So that's it. That's why I'm up one AM writing and watching sitcoms. It's the best peace I know.

Poem - Comfortable Place to Hide

Comfortable Place to Hide

Under a dusk sky, stands a vacant tower in a sprawling city

Doors barred, windows boarded

Stranded in an austere and crowded reality

The silvered promises hate my heart

Reflecting distortion with endless compromise

Surviving so many days standing apart

Holding on so my vision of you will not disappear

The tears dry and the feeling lives

My deepest aspect is begging for here

Smashed and shattered from lies

Hope remains alive in any world with you inside

I make a wish for you every time I open my eyes

A dream is a comfortable place to hide

A story of a day after the distance has been traversed

A future of days standing on the same side

A bright blue tree in the midst of a barren field

The low tier bearing a glowing white apple

Absent of foliage, even now it can be healed

Note - Originally posted on Dreams Taste Good on April 12, 2014

Batman Party Ideas

Batfavors, Batgifts and Batdecorations

There are important philosophical questions to consider. Like what if aliens invaded Earth and forced everyone to wear liederhosen? I don't think I could do it. I just can't wear leather pants.

What if a car crashed through the wall right this second? That would be inconvenient, annoying, stressful and misery inducing. And I could even get hit with a car.

Or what is the best batfavor?

Obvious Options for Favor Bags

With millions of Batman toys, candy and ephemera on the market, there is no shortage of options. My advice: Don't just buy the Bat, buy the Bat you like. It's better to get one or two nice things than a bag of so-so stuff.

A comic and a little toy are ideal. Candy's not right for everyone. Some people can't and some people don't. You can get a good quantity of comic books for an affordable price from e-bay or at a comic book store back issue sale.

Riddler's Boxes

Strive for a detail everyone will look at and say, 'How did you think of that?' Give guests a memory to instagram like Riddler clues.

The Riddler party game. Take green boxes and draw question marks on them. Fill each box with a riddle. Then have guests compete to solve the most. Give a prize to the winner.

POW

In the world of Batman 66, any object could be conceal a nozzle ready to release gas or a small explosion ready to poof out confetti. Create an element of surprise (a safe explosion). If this is at your house or if you're a guest of someone you like, skip the confetti. Just skip it. Fill little balloons with helium and fill the box.

Create onomatopoeia. Take cardboard and paint pows, bam, boffs and decorate the party.

Rogue's Gallery

Batman keeps trophies of his victories over his villains. Collect little trinkets representing each villain or batcave trophy.

This doesn't need to break the budget. A resource like Oriental Trading or Art Beads could provide you with plenty of creative symbols. For the over achievers, there are options like Shapeways where you could crafty your own piece for the bag.

Go on Amazon and get a pack of evidence bags to make it look like your handing out Gotham Police Department evidence.

Be the Bat

The gift of a batmask is the gift that keeps on giving. No one's life cannot be made a little better by the addition of a batmask. My glasses make a batmask hard because I can't wear it without being blind. I have batshirts and necklaces.

Decorate the party with a batcave theme. Hang bats from the ceiling. Get a giant penny, a tyrannosaurus rex pinata (Don't worry about the age. Have fun and get a pinata.) Make a giant Joker card.

Poem - Neon Hearts

Neon Hearts

Lazarus dreams shared by dead voices
Broken promises create hard choices

We are many, we see through white irises

We are the life support for murdered promises

Under the sodium lights of High street, a legion ascends

The pressure of battle crushes and souls suffer the bends

Clad in armor, masked, I shed my common disguise

Ready for war so that no one dies

Armies walk on melted asphalt

We live on a splintered fault

Spectators arrive by the hundreds, gathering for a parade

The police’s admonition against attendance did not dissuade

We are refurbished hope at bargain prices

Devoted to this life of indulgent violence and sacrifices

The destruction of the bank reveals the design of a caper

We rescue attendees drowning in toxic vapor

Neon heart pulses ink through threadbare capillaries

Machine gun nerves fire inside my skull like a thousand militaries

We wage war for an audience

Our condemners or our clemence

7 Weird Alternative Earth Cores

What's in the Center of the Earth?

The composition of the hidden heart of the Earth is the inspiration behind countless works of scifi. Is it an iron ball? A giant crystal? Big molten fiery wad of death? Endless caves and rampaging dinosaurs? Cities of mole people? Nothing?

Go and Google the truth. Google's answer is the Earth contains a hard core of iron surrounded by liquid nickle-iron. Dull.

Some more interesting options for Earth's filling...

Batcave

If I got to use the center of the world as my personal base...and why not? It's my world in this scenario and I call dibs on the center of the Earth...I would put a giant batcave in there with every amenity. A giant dinosaur but a real one and house-trained. The huge penny. I love the giant penny. Humongous computer. Lots of bats because they are adorable.

Then I'd wage a global battle against crime from my subterranean base. Not in the under-overlord sort of way but in a heroic way. I promise I do not have despotic daydreams.

Matroyska

There could be another galaxy inside the Earth. We could build observatories looking into the ground and study the worlds beneath our feet. Of course, that might mean no subways. But I don't like subways anyway because I've never been in a subway that didn't smell.

The Needs of the World

The world could have a giant recycling factory in the center. It would give an elegant solution to the problem of giant garbage piles all over the world.

No Hamsters!

I reject the common visual cliche of a hamster on a wheel. It would be mean to stick a hamster or even an army of hamsters in the center of the Earth running on a wheel. Though the center of the Earth might serve as a nice base to breed hamster soldiers.

POWER!!!!!!

A giant generator would provide power to the rest of the world. Of course, there already is. Geothermal energy is there, just expensive to access.

Heart of Gold

The biggest ball of gold in the world in the center of the world.

Chewy Taffy Center

Earth could be pretty tasty.

9 Greatest Cartoon Goth Ladies

Animated Goth Heroines

These ladies are gothy and we love them for it.

Lydia Deetz

From Beetlejuice

Bold, a little magical, kind and caring. Her best friend is the beetle-munching "ghost with the most". She's the only person who can bring out Beetlejuice's nice side.

Before I ever saw the movie, I loved the cartoon. I didn't even know who the Maitlands were and the idea of Beetlejuice being the bad guy was kind of a surprise. Not a huge surprise but not the way I thought of him.

I've never forgot the episode where Lydia chained herself to a tree and stayed there till she collapsed from exhaustion in her fight to save it.

Gaz

From Invader Zim

Dark, dangerous and an ass-kicking gamer. Gaz doesn't take crap from anyone. Not her crazy brother or the incompetent alien trying to conquer Earth. She's willing to live and let you live as long as you don't cross her.

Most episodes centered around the war for Earth but occasionally she got her own story-lines like when she had to save Dib from Zim so they could go to Bloaty's Pizza Hog with their dad or her mission to get a Game Slave 2.

Oblina

From Aaahh!!! Real Monsters

Classy and frightening. She's a beautiful black and white monster with guts that she will show you. She's a good student and always strives for new frights.

I was crushed the day I found out I would never see another new episode. One of Oblina's storylines was about her insecurity over her appearance. She had to wear braces to get her teeth out of alignment and started dating a jock who only liked for her braces. After the braces are removed, her breaks up with her for a girl with mirror scales. She recovers quickly with the help of her friends who like her for her and with the confidence from her new smile.

Creepie Creecher

From Growing Up Creepie

Unique, intelligent and good to her friends and family. Creepie is true to herself. She's a storehouse of buggy knowledge. She has friends under every rock.

She was raised by a praying mantis and a mosquito. She's just learning about the human world but she has good friends to help her. She stands up for what she believes in and puts herself in danger to protect helpless bugs and insects.

Raven

Honorable Mention: Jinx

From Teen Titans, Teen Titans Go

Dark, honest and just a little crazy (but we all go a little crazy sometimes). She's a superhero. She can save the world with three words, "Azarath Metrion Zinthos".

I loved Teen Titans. I also loved Adam West, Michael Keaton, and Kevin Conroy as Batman. I don't love every reboot, incarnation, reimagination, recasting, reset and redo DC rolls out. The stories have been retold so many times and the retellings don't show any signs of stopping. So, I try to roll with it.

Teen Titans Go has had its moments for me. I liked their homage to Scooby Doo. I hated their April Fools episode because of the one scene with Robin's heart shattered. I found the Robin-cat episode creepy. It's not to everyone's taste. But everyone has different tastes.

Shego

From Kim Possible

Well-educated and confident. Shego is one of Kim Possible's greatest threats. Kim was kind of perfect and I am kind of not. I like characters that try to transcend and learn to become better people. Everyone can change and become someone new.

Spoiler Alert. She's not so bad. She's a hero by the end of the series.

Marceline

From Adventure Time

Vampire Queen and Rock Goddess. She hasn't always had an easy life. She saw her world end, lost her mother then her dearest friend lost his mind to a crown.

Marceline is a strong woman. She's earned the love of her friends and the fear of her enemies.

Wednesday Addams

Honorable Mentions: Morticia Addams and Grandmama

From The Addams Family (1973) and The Addams Family (1992)

A sweet little girl with a love for the night and all things bumping within. Like her mother and her grandmother, Wednesday is dark and mystical. She's accepted by her family and her friends. Like so many people on this list, she's true to herself.

Sally

From Nightmare Before Christmas

A beautiful Disney princess. She has a way with a needle and a way with poison. She's brave and she follows her heart.

Disney recognize Sally, a forgotten Princess. She didn't wait for Jack to save her from captivity by Finklestein. She went to save Santa from Oogie Boogie. Jack did come to her rescue but that's because they save each other. In the end, he noticed her because she was a faithful friend and she was way smarter than he was.

Who did I miss?