Why I Bought $5 in Scratch-off Tickets

Buying Into A Fantasy

There's a scratch-off dispenser at the supermarket in my town. It's an obnoxious machine that appeared in the store a couple months ago. There's a lighted scrolling banner on the top and it doesn't give change. I didn't buy from that machine.

I went to the Hallmark store next to the liquor store to buy them. There's something off about the Hallmark store. Everything feels kind of old and yellow. It feels vestigial. I would be surprised if they made a sale in the last month. I suspect it's the lottery tickets that keep them in business.

I don't normally buy lottery tickets for myself. I have trouble shelling out money for nothing in return and that's what it feels like. On occasion I will put my two dollars in a pool (mainly cause I've convinced myself that they'll win if I don't and I'll spend the rest of my days kicking myself).

I gave the man behind the counter five dollars and asked for five one dollar tickets. I stuck the tickets in my pocket and went back to work.


I wondered if maybe, just maybe I wouldn't be parting with my hard earned money for nothing. Maybe I would get something. I traded my money for the possibility of something.

I went home with the tickets. Five chances to win something.

There were no visions of future purchases dancing in my head. That's not what I would do with the money. If I ever won a million dollars, a thousand dollars, a hundred, it would go straight into savings. I love the comfort that a healthy savings account offers.

I wouldn't want a mansion. I would not want a Porsche. I would want to know that all those stressful and sucky aspects of daily life are taken care of. I would want to know that I'm in a better place than I was before. I would want to have that cushion. Money doesn't buy happiness but having it can be a comfort.

I guess the reason I bought the tickets was because I'm in the market for dreams. That's what they sell. That's what people buy. The slogan in New Jersey is "Give your dreams a chance".

I bought the tickets to buy them and I got the transient hope of getting money and the definite possibility that I would get no money. Either way I got something different to write about out of the deal.

A Ninja Changed My Definition of Discipline

"Discipline is doing the work...every single day."

-Izzy

Searching for Answers

I never thought about discipline until I realized that I wasn't and I wanted to be. So I did what I do whenever I have a problem (or a random question that pops into my head).  I googled it.

I came upon the story of Izzy. He dreamed of being a martial arts master. He started training to become a ninja. He made the choice, the sacrifices and he went for his dream. He is an inspiration.

When I read his article, my definition of discipline immediately started to shift from slightly negative to very positive. My definition of discipline used to be tied to the idea of penalty and control. It's changed to an idea of dedication and commitment.

I am a writer, an artist and I have dreams. I realized that discipline was the virtue I needed to develop to achieve my goals. I learned from his example that it takes discipline to make dreams real.

Role Models

“The biggest adversary in our life is ourselves. We are what we are, in a sense, because of the dominating thoughts we allow to gather in our head. All concepts of self-improvement, all actions and paths we take, relate solely to our abstract image of ourselves. Life is limited only by how we really see ourselves and feel about our being. A great deal of pure self-knowledge and inner understanding allows us to lay an all-important foundation for the structure of our life from which we can perceive and take the right avenues.”

-Bruce Lee

So many people that I admire possess self-discipline. Their self-discipline allowed them to become amazing and well-accomplished people.

I have always admired warriors. My personal admiration for warriors was never just about cool gear or the Hollywood image of a single person taking on an army. It was the idea that through training and dedication, they became someone stronger and more capable than ever.

Working on it

In retrospect, my revelation about self-discipline was a long time coming. But there were a hundred revelations that I had to have before I could reach it.

In my own haphazard way, I was working to develop self-discipline without realizing it. I would decide on certain goals then I would struggle to find a path to reach them. Sometimes I gave up, sometimes I failed. Getting the work done was a struggle.

I started setting myself up to achieve each goal. I forced myself to do things in support of my goals. When my sabotaging, procrastinating brain would tell me to do another thing or nothing at all, I had to fight to keep going.

I still have to fight. Discipline isn't an absence of the desire to procrastinate, it's the will to overcome that desire. It's about doing the work.

Discipline makes the impossible possible. I've achieved things I thought were out of reach by embracing self-discipline.

Lessons to Apply

• Set specific goals.
• Take action towards the goal.
• Make the sacrifices.
• Hard but worth it.
• After the goal is reached, the sacrifice becomes a step that you took towards your goal. It becomes a source of pride and a part of your achievement.
• Change takes time.
• One website quotes that it takes 21 days to adjust to any life change. Make the change, dedicate yourself to it and keep working at it till the change is the new normal.
• Discipline is a skill to practice and develop.
• You'll make mistakes. To screw up is human. You'll fail and falter then you'll get back up and keep working.
• Make the Commitment.
• Renew your commitment daily.
• Do it for yourself.
• Do it because you want to do it.
• When you wake up and the Oneiroi are calling you back to sleep, remember you have work to do. Get moving and do it.
• Overcome your the barriers.
• Identify each barrier and break through.

Four Sci-fi and Fantasy Films that Deserve More Attention

Occasionally fantastic films will just turn up, seemingly out of nowhere. As though a traveler from an alternate dimension dropped a blockbuster from his dimension in my mailbox before sauntering off to the reality where people have giant lobsters as pets and reality television shows about talentless rich people are outlawed.

There are some movies that you watch and you feel like you should have heard of it sooner. You wonder how you could have gone years oblivious to the film.

These four films appeal to my personal taste for quirky escapist fantasies. They're fun and strange worlds. Each one had moments that I never expected or imagined.

I think the best thing a movie can do is excite the imagination and these do that for mine.

Frequently Asked Questions about Time Travel (2009)

A British pub comedy about a trio of guys who travel through time.

During a typical night out with the boys, a time travel fan finds himself traveling through time. It's all fun and closets until he learns that even though he's seen the future, he might not have one.

Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel on Wikipedia

The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec (2010)

A French adventure fantasy about a novelist living in Paris in 1912.

Adèle Blanc-Sec is a famous novelist and adventurer dealing with a pterosaur, mummies and other issues in her quest to help her sister.

The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec on Wikipedia

Cool World (1992)

A cop works to keep order in a city full of anarchist doodles.

Holli would do anything to become a real girl. Detective Harris will stop her from tearing two worlds to pieces. Jack Deebs is an ex-con comic book artist prone to bad decisions with the chance to be a hero.

Cool World on Wikipedia

Immortel, ad vitam (2004)

A French Sci-fi film about a god's last day on Earth before his death sentence is carried out.

Horus has one day to live in 2095 New York City. Nikopol becomes a host to the god after a mechanical failure releases him from prison early. Jill is a mystery that her doctor is determined to solve.

Immortel, ad vitam on Wikipedia

Century Old Comic Strips

Those who forget the past are destined to miss out on a lot.

Comics have been in newspapers for over a hundred years. The past is filled with some very interesting artifacts.

Comics are the product of the artist and the era. What was acceptable then might not be acceptable now. They are a glimpse into another world, another time and another person's point of view.

Krazy Kat (1913 - 1944)

During its run, it was beloved by many in the artistic and intellectual sets. It lasted for a long time due to publisher William Randolph Hearst's dedicated support.

The comic starred Krazy Kat and Ignatz Mouse. Krazy loved Ignatz. Ignatz hurled bricks at Krazy's head. Krazy didn't mind but Officer Pupp was usually on hand to show Ignatz to a jail cell.

It's an example of simple done well. Some strips were sweet with Krazy rushing to bring ice cream to some kittens (4-23-1916) and others were just plain odd with Ignatz holding Krazy at gunpoint (2-15-1919).

Little Nemo in Slumberland (1905 - 1926)

By August Olson [Public domain],
via Wikimedia Commons

Little Nemo in Slumberland is the story of Nemo's adventures in a world of dreams.

Winsor McCay was a skilled artist. His comics are elaborate. He created different worlds for Nemo and his friends to explore. He was also an innovator. Any fan of McCay needs to see his Little Nemo Cartoon. It is a mix of live action and animation. He created four thousand drawings for the animation.

Recently, I received in the mail the biggest book I have ever owned. Little Nemo: Dream Another Dream published by Locust Moon Press. The art is fantastic and grand. I think he would be proud to see the influence that his work has had.

Mr. Skygack, From Mars (1907 - 1917)

A Martian's observations of life on Earth. Simple, interesting, fun.

My interest in Mr. Skygack was peaked by a single image of a kid in a Skygack costume. It's fantastic. It reminds me of Comic Con.

It's the kind of strip that I could imagine obsessing over if I was a kid then. Well, maybe I wouldn't have obsessed over the strip but the character. Before aliens were common, he was a fully formed alien visiting from Mars and exploring all the oddities Earth had to offer.

Read Them

Enjoy them, learn from them.

Krazy Kat and Little Nemo can be read at The Comic Strip Library
Mr. Skygack can be read at Comic Book Plus

Dear Disney, Sally is a Princess

Dear Disney,

You missed a princess. You left Sally off your list of Disney Princesses.

Sally is the kind and courageous deuteragonist of The Nightmare Before Christmas.

It's a glaring omission to refuse her a place in the Disney princess pantheon.

Maybe you think she's not a princess. But I would like to point out that Mulan was a soldier and Pocahontas was the daughter of the Chief. They are not princesses.

She is a princess in every way but title. Though she is the love of the Pumpkin King.

Sally is a great role model for little girls.

• She promotes self acceptance. She looks like uniquely herself. She doesn't try to change that. 
• She overcomes obstacles, including imprisonment. 
• She shows wisdom, when she recognizes the folly of Jack's plan and fights to save Santa Claus. 
• She's giving. She packs a lovely picnic basket for Jack to enjoy while he works in his laboratory. 

I say it's high time for Sally to take her place among the Disney Princesses.

Signed,
Kit

Tidying a Disordered Brain with a Computer Game

A Brain Out of Order

For the last few days, my brain has been completely out of order. I'm at stress level orange. I haven't been able to focus on any one drawing for longer than a few minutes. I keep skipping from idea to idea.  I've nailed down a few causes for my problem but cures are harder to come by.

Sketchbook

My sketchbook reflects my disordered brain. The pages are filling with doodles and half-hearted, half-conceived ideas. I push myself to keep going. I'm at 154 hours of practice. But drawing isn't helping my state of mind.

 Binging on Media

I've been binge listening to Welcome to Nightvale, watching Rocko's Modern Life and playing Lego Batman 2.

Nightvale

I'm not normally a shipper. But Welcome to Nightvale has the sweetest love story. <3 Cecil and Carlos <3

Rocko's Modern Life

Rocko's Modern Life is classic. I haven't watched it since I was little. I like it even more now. I get more of the jokes.

Computer Games

The last immersive computer games I played were Tomb Raider, Simtower and the Sims. My greatest joy in Sims was cheating remorselessly. The one thing I remember best about Simtower were those evil roach infestations. I wasn't so great at Tomb Raider. Lara died a lot. But that was a long time ago.

Lego Batman 2

I bought Lego Batman 2 on Steam Powered. I wanted something fun as a reintroduction to computer games after a decade away. I got exactly what I wanted with Lego Batman 2.

I had a couple technical glitches but after a little cursing I got it up and running.

This is a cliche but the graphics are amazing. Granted, this is being written by a person who last played a plot and story line computer game on a computer that ran on Windows 96

So far, my favorite location in the game is the Batcave. It speaks to my fangirl psyche. I get to wander around my own personal Batcave. I really appreciate having a whole city to explore where I can get jumped by handgun wielding penguins.

I like the keyboard controls. It didn't take long to learn them.

It may not cure my disordered mental state but saving Gotham City has proven to be a good way to focus and relax.

Illuminating Identity

I have been thinking about who I am lately. There is the person that I am and how I'm perceived. Art is the only place where those two people are united. The artwork is how I'm perceived and who I am. The goal is to develop my skill and my style so I can better express who I am and what I feel.

I spent time over the weekend exploring the illuminated manuscripts at bl.uk. The bl.uk is a fantastic resource. It has scans of beautiful illuminated manuscripts and a very useful keyword search.

I also watched several tutorials on graffiti. The Steven's Art Studio Advanced Graffiti Tutorial is the best I have found yet. Illuminated letters seem to be old school Wildstyle to me.

As I explored the illuminated manuscripts, I started doodling my name. I think it's important to be willing to experiment. Try the same thing over and over, and refine with each step. I started with the top Kit then started experimenting with incorporating new details like the outline and the swirls on the second Kit.

As of 11/10/14, I'm at 134 hours. Aside from exploring illuminated manuscripts and graffiti, I'm working on learning perspective and drawing dynamic poses by quick sketching complicated perspectives and difficult poses. It's time to get back to work.

Drawing Samurai

The mission continues. 

Current Total - 123 Hours.

Big Obvious Revelation

The only way to get better is to work at it.

Draw, Study, Draw again, Study some more.

Everything drawing will have mistakes. There will be problems to be overcome. As long as you keep moving forward and learning ways to avoid those mistakes in the future, then you're doing great.

This Drawing

Phelan Davion has a fantastic collection of stock photography on Deviantart. I based my samurai drawing off one of his photos.

I find that I like drawing warriors. I like their strength.

I know I'm improving. I feel in the process and I can see it in the result.  I will focus on the fact that I created a drawing that I really like and enjoyed working on. I will also apply the lessons I've learned from working on this.

The Last Page of a Sketchbook

I remember in grade school reading a book about a girl that kept notebooks. She wished that someone would come along and give her a clean notebook so she could have the pleasure of starting fresh with clean and empty pages. She didn't want to have to fill those last pages. I don't feel that way. 

I filled every page of this sketchbook. I filled it with Moomin, life drawing, Batman, Kirby, birds, and exercises. A variety of random stuff. 

I can flip through the pages and see my progress. I can see the benefits of my training (Current total=113 hours). When I first opened this sketchbook, I couldn't have accomplished the drawings on the last. 

I can also see the many areas that I need to improve.

Flipping through the pages, I had a vague revelation, an undefined epiphany. I want to get better. I want to do something with this activity that makes me happy. I don't know what yet. But I'm going to work on that.

The Last Page

The Brick of Love

I'm at 106 hours. I spent my lunch with Krazy Kat and Ignatz Mouse. Here's Ignatz pitching a brick of love at Krazy.

I am very dissatisfied with my skills with shadows and shading. It helps to think about where the light is coming from by imagining the little lamp shining on the scene. 

My favorite tutorial on shading and shadows so far is Proko's. 

The only way to get better is to get back to work. So I'm going to do just that and keep working my way through every tutorial I can get my hands on.

10,000 hours to Mastery

It's a myth. But it's also a truth. 10,000 hours of meaningful study and practice could make someone a master.

I have been drawing for years. But I've never been satisfied with my level of skill or the results of my efforts.

So I'm making a concentrated effort to become a master using a method that had worked for me in the past. I'm keeping a time sheet. As of today, I'm at 103 hours. I have a long way to go before I reach 10,000 but the way I look at it, I'm one-hundredth of the way there.